Dreamland
by DesertCat87
Summary: G1 Jazz ponders why he joined the war and comes up with his own answer.


Dreamland

Notes:I'm sure everyone knows but just so it's here: no, I DO NOT own Transformers or Jazz. I only own Jynx, Offbeat and Rhapsody. So no touchy! ;)Story takes placein the 90's or early 2000.Offbeat and Rhapsody are still very young in this so there's a reason they talk the way they do.And the story is written from Jazz's perspective so there's bad grammer and spelling.Oh, and some people might notice I did originally post this on Deviantart, but trust me this story is pretty much completely rewritten. Didn't like how it came out the first time, so wa-la! Thanks and please R&R :)

Ya know, there's been lots o' times I've wondered why I fight this slaggin' war. 'Course no one would ever believe that jolly Jazz does actually cry. Yeah, I do. Every time I see a buddy o' mine meeting the business end o' a rife, I end up puttin' on the loudest rock music I can find and cryin' till I aint got any more juice left. I have doubts. Believe it or not. And yeah, I aint always happy, like everyone, including me, would like you to believe. Truth is, I have just as many doubts as 'Raje and just as much hurt as 'Blue does. I don't show it, and that's the difference. An' maybe I haven't lost all my friends, family and even an entire city like 'Blue, but that don't mean I can't hurt on th' inside.

That's where I hide it all the time. Behind a visor, aint no one or nothin' that can see you hurt or the pain you bottle up inside. Or, that's what I wanna believe.

Ah, but I guess I'm getting' off the track of my story. 'Cause ya see, som' times I get a reminder of why I'm still here an' that is what makes me wanna stay ta see it through.

An' it happened a few months ago, when I tried to get 'Beat and Rhap to go ta bed. And trus' me, that aint an easy thing ta do, especially when the two of 'em can run faster than me. But I did manage ta get grab um and wrestle them inta their berths after bout half an hour or so o' running and chasin' th' little squeaks.

After they quieted down, I tol' um a few stories I got up my sleeve, I went to kiss um' g'night. It was then that 'Beat, my youngest, decided to pipe up.

I had just made it to the door too when I heard his little voice and his head peaking out.

"Hey daddy," he tol' me, "do you miss 'ybertron?"

Ybertron, I figured meant Cybertron...but I dunno why 'Beat'd ask me that. Little guy aint ever been there an' I know I don't ever talk 'bout it. Not that I hate Cybertron, but I don't call it home anymore. Guess he musta heard it from Prowl or Mirage...maybe...

I walked back over to the berth where Rhap was already asleep and 'Beat was sitting up waitin' for me to go sit on his berth ta explain things to him. Offbeat loves to ask questions, does just about every night too. He's a curious little guy. So I guess it was a ritural o' sorts for me and 'Beat to answer the worl's questions every night, an' if ya ask me, I'd say it's the best tradition ya can give a kid. I hope some day he'll look back and remember all them nights of two or even three hours worth o' questions.

"Naw, Cybertron aint got you, Rhap and Momma on it, now does it?" I told im, and poked his nose.

'Beat thought 'bout the question for a sec, and wraped his little hands 'round one of my fingers. I could see the little wheels turnin' in that noggin of his. Finally he shook his head.

"No, no cause we're on Earth not Ybertron." I nodded kissed him and Rhap one more time before goin' to turn out the lights, hopin' to get away early tonight. I had plans with m' mate that particular night…

"Night, Offbeat," I whispered back and tried to shut the door.

But, as usual, my little 'Beat wasn't done.

"But Daddy," He pleaded, sittin' back up, "Ybertron was your home. Why don't you wanna go home? I wouldn't wanna leave home. Why don't you have a mommy and daddy, Daddy? How come Uncle Rythim don't wanna live wif us? My brofer lives wif me. Why can't I have another brofer? Can we trade Rhap? We need a updated brofer. Huh, Daddy?" All his words kinda ran together, as they stumbled out of his vocalizer in that cute way human kids ten' ta do too.

Figurin' I was gunna have ta answer those questions sooner or later, I wen' ahead and pulled up m' chair, sittin' backwords on it an' danglin' my arms over the back. "Alright 'Beat, one question at a time. Number one, Yber- er- Cybertron aint my home no more, earth is. Home is wherever yer family is and m' family's on earth."

Offbeat just tilted his head to the side and sat up a bit more, so I thought it was safe to go on. "Second, I don't got any creators and my brother is all grown up now. When you're grown up, ya don't live with your brother anymore."

Offbeat nodded again, "And as for a brother, ya aint gunna trade in Rhap. Ya get one bro and me and yer Mom love Rhap just as much as you do." I had to grin even as 'Beat made a face at me.

Primus, he looked just like me when I pouted a' that age 'bout not getting' my way. I remember askin' m' own creator the same question bout Ryth…he gave me the sam' answer too.

He looked up at me with those big ol' clue optics, pouting, "But why not Daddy? Don't you want more of me?"

I chuckled, "More of you, 'Beat?"

He gave me a long sufferin' sigh, as if ta say, 'why don' you grown ups ever un'erstan'?'

"Yeah Dad," he threw his arms up dramically, "If I had a brofer then I could blame stuff on 'im, just like Rhap blames me for stuff!"

"Rhap blames ya for stuff?"

"Yeah! Like that time I knocked over Mommy's tools? Rhap pushed me!"

I chuckled, "'Beat, ya tripped on my foot."

"Rhap wanted to push me," he crossed his arms and pouted.

"I'll talk ta Mom alright? You jus' get some recharge." I put his little blanket back over 'im again. (Even though I know he don't really need a blanket, it's just another human thing I kinda picked up. Ya know, like I always tell 'im ta call me 'Dad' and Jynx 'Mom.' It jus' seems so much more personal than 'im calling me by m' name like I had ta call my creator by his.)

I whispered m' g'night again, kissin' him on the helm.

"Night, Daddy," came his quiet reply as I heard him sigh again and turn over in his berth before I crept outta the door.

I looked back at both of 'um, all snuggled up together like some Kodak moment from the commercials before I turned out the light and headed for m' own berth.

I walked inta our quarters jus' as Jynx was pourin' a couple a drinks. She turned around ta face me with that all knowin' grin o' hers.

"Everything ok?" she asked, "You were longer than usual so I thought I'd go ahead and get ya something." She handed me the glass, "Offbeat just had questions again, huh?"

I chuckled, "Did you hear what he asked me?"

She shook her head sitting down on the berth, pattin' a space next ta her for me ta sit. So I layed down, resting m' head in her lap and tol' her the whole story. By the time I got ta the end Jynx was laughing so hard m' head was boucin' up and down. She has a wonderful laugh too; kinda fills ya with fuzzies.

"Did he really say that?" Jynx squeezed between giggles.

I nodded, "Yep. But I didn' think ya'd want to get rid of Rhap."

Jynx giggled again, "You can tell they're brothers aright. Already wanting to off the other."

We both got a good laugh outta it and lettme tell ya, it felt good to laugh that long and hard about somethin'. Felt even better sittin there with littl' J. She can always put me in a good mood and make me feel better 'bout some worry.

Yes, I do worry too.

For the rest of the night, I just laid there, my head in her lap talking about some of the weirdest subjects all the while she'd trace the horns of my helm with a finger fondly. Made me feel good knowin' she was there to listen to me and vise-versa.

That night I really realized why I'm here. Hearin' her laugh, feeling her next to me, seein' my boys bright smiley faces, sittin' with 'Beat and answerin' all his questions…things like that is the real reason I'm still here. For them. Yeah I fight for the other 'Bots who are family for all its worth, and Cybertron, and even the humans. But if ya ask me, th' real reason is for them. For us. Yeah it might sound cliché and might sound sappy, but it's the truth. Not that I'd say that in fron' of the others, since we all know Jazz is the happy-go-lucky, not a care in the world, kinda mech. And I don't wanna upset the image.

Besides, the mechs who really know me- I mean really know me- know why I'm here.


End file.
